23 April, 2015 - USA - Working in a teen treatment facility for mental, health and substance abuse, parents ask our team every day, how can I better connect with my teen? Parents often say, “I feel like I’m doing everything I know to do, and yet I still argue with my teen often.” Unfortunately, sometimes everything a parent might do with the best of intentions can feel like it may be leading nowhere. Over the last twelve years, teenagers have taught our team a few things about how to build a better relationship with them, and it’s much simpler than you might think.
Listen. In between all the teenage cryptic communication and ever changing moods, teens are sending us important messages every day. Often, we miss these messages in between work, the daily carpool, or anyone of life’s daily obstacles. Ask questions about your teen’s interests and listen without judgement. Use the daily carpool as a positive opportunity to discuss their interests, rather than a place of confrontation. No matter how much you want to jump in and impose your adult wisdom on your son or daughter, just listen. You will hear more than you ever thought, just by listening and asking questions of genuine interest.
Communicate with respect and patience.
Being a teenager is hard, and admitting you are wrong to a parent can be even harder. Keep a supportive tone. Most of what a person takes away or understands from what we say to them is based on our tone, facial expression, and body language. Very little is actually based on the words we say. So when you and your teen are discussing something important, take a deep breath, listen, and pay attention to your tone. Is it supportive yet assertive? Or is it loud and pressured? Which one feels more supportive or safe to you?
Spend quality time doing things they like.
Get to know their interests and try them out. It doesn’t mean you have to learn to skateboard, but maybe watching a goofy YouTube video or two won’t hurt too much.
Get to know their friends.
You don’t have to actually hang out with your teen, but get to know them and their interests. Ask about friends and express concern when needed. Though your teen will likely never tell you that they appreciate this, keep doing it.Offer to host a game night, BBQ, or tojust “hang out” at your home. Teens often share with our team, that even though they don’t always like their parents “poking around” it makes them feel like they care. Keep caring, they notice.
Connect with gratitude and praise.
Take small, daily steps to express gratitude and praise for the things that are right. It is easy to comment on the things that are not going well, challenge yourself to notice the positives daily. This will help encourage them to keep all those positive actions up!
Forgive Yourself.
Be gentle on yourself. Every parent makes mistakes. Modeling self-care and personal forgiveness is the best way to teach your teen to respect and care for themselves.
Engage Treatment Programs supports local teens and young adults in the community struggling with managing the symptoms of anxiety, depression, or another mood disorder. Engage Treatment Programs focus on helping teens and young adults learn the skills and tools necessary in order to live a healthier and satisfying life.
For more information on our programs please visit us at:
http://engagetreatmentprograms.com
Company Name: Engage Treatment Programs
Contact Person: Sasha Sloniker
Email:Send Email
Phone: (805) 497-0605
Address:650 Hampshire Rd #104
City: Westlake Village
State: CA
Country: United States
Website: http://engagetreatmentprograms.com
