Mark Steven Porro is an award-winning designer, writer, and director. He has written lots of jokes, several screenplays, and one award-winning short film. A Cup of Tea on the Commode—a sad, sweet, and funny memoir—is his first published book.
A New Jersey native (Exit 163), Mark earned an Industrial Design degree from The Ohio State University. After years of agency work, his love of acting led him to Hollywood, where he appeared in dozens of television, film, and stage productions. Mark also spent his twenty-eight years in Tinseltown as an entrepreneur, starting five non-profit companies. But hold the applause, none were intended to be. He now lives in the South of France. But hold your pity. He of sound mind and body chose to suffer in the heart of wine country where the locals insist his French isn’t so bad—at least that’s what he thinks they’re saying.
This one-on-one interview shares Mark Steven Porro’s background and experience in writing A Cup of Tea on the Commode. My multitasking adventures of caring for Mom. And how I survived to tell the tale.
Tell us about A Cup of Tea on the Commode.
At 55, I gave up my carefree bachelor life in Los Angeles to become a first-time parent to an eighty-nine-year-old, sharp-tongued, guilt-tripping, stubborn-as-all-get-out, and yet funny lady who could barely remember my name.
My mother.
She was on her deathbed, so I rushed back to New Jersey to be by her side. Hours became days, days became weeks, then she woke up. So, I moved back into my childhood home and took over her care. It’s rare for a son to take on 24/7 caregiving, but I jumped in with gusto so I could fill her last years with love, laughter, and joy.
The parent/child role reversal may not be unique to me, but how I dealt with it was. One day, hoping to make my mother, Genevieve’s time on the commode a tad more pleasant, I offered her a cup of her favorite beverage. It was a hit, and a cup of tea on the commode became a staple on the morning menu, and the clear choice for the title of this intimate, funny, and heartwarming memoir of how eldercare can be done. I was not always successful, but I came pretty damn close.
What inspired you to write A Cup of Tea on the Commode?
The number of persons aged eighty years or over is projected to triple to 426 million by 2050. In the US alone, there are currently over fifty million seniors eighty years or older.
My story is timely and timeless as many will, sooner or later, confront the same issues as I did.
A Cup of Tea on the Commode is not a “How to,” but a “What I did” book, and it is resonating with many readers who have found an equal number of laughs and tears in it. My hope with the book is to not only entertain as there are a lot of fun stories in it, but to inspire others (especially men), to discover the joy of caregiving.
I did, and I’m a better man for it.
How did your background and experience influence your writing?
During my three-and-a-half-year journey of caring for mom, I took lots of notes, photos, and videos to help remember important details and conversations.
I learned as much as I could from hospice nurses and nurse’s aides before taking over all caregiving duties. But like any new parent, I also learned on the fly and made mistakes. When I gave my mom her first bubble bath in years, she passed out in the tub. Great, I tried to do a good thing, and I killed my mom. At least she smelled good! Luckily, she woke up 30 minutes later and didn’t remember a thing, so it was a win/win.
I included many of my multitasking adventures, along with some poignant and funny moments from our shared past. Since this was my first memoir, I studied the craft before jumping in. My lifetime of experience in human-centered design, acting, and entrepreneurship all came into play as well.
What is one message you would like readers to remember?
There is nothing more important than caring for your loved ones. There’s honor, love and joy in it.
Purchasing the Book
A Cup of Tea on the Commode is a must-read, showcasing an extraordinary display of love and one man's selfless acts to fill his mother’s last years with love, laughter, and joy. The book is available in paperback, Large Print, ebook, and audiobook. It can be found on Amazon and other online bookstores. Readers are encouraged to purchase their copy today: https://books2read.com/u/bPN7Pd
Connect with Mark Steven Porro
https://acupofteaonthecommode.org
https://www.facebook.com/teaonthe
https://www.youtube.com/@acupofteaonthecommode
https://www.instagram.com/a_cup_of_tea_on_the_commode
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